When I was a little kid I carried around a small army bag full of little toys and pictures. They depicted cartoon characters and superheroes that I liked. I would pull them out and shuffle through them, to look at them and handle them. It was a tactile desire. Today, I make little pictures–painted collages–constructed of images sourced from the internet and print pornography. The process involves layering image transfers with paint. Labor intensive, it requires stages of gluing images down and rubbing away the paper backing. When the paper is removed the image reveals itself to me evoking the act of shuffling through those little pictures.
My paintings relate to an old way of engaging with pornography when it was physical, valuable. I’m inspired by the experiences of older generations like stashing a used, crinkly, nudie mag under your mattress. Another example took place in mid-century America when full-frontal nudity was illegal in gay pornography. Some pornographers circumvented the law by painting on the pictures, covering the genitalia of their models. In turn, the consumer, in the oppressive privacy of their bedroom, could scratch away the paint revealing the full image. It too, was a tactile desire, where handling was essential to bearing witness to gay sexuality.
My practice evolved when I learned of lonely men who scratched away at pornographic pictures to fulfill their desires. Making small paintings through a tactile working process speaks to this history of oppression. I arrive at figurative abstraction by covering images with other image transfers. When the new transfer is dry I rub away the paper to reveal a new form. In doing so, the work centers desire by obscuring–only presenting part of a gay or sexual form. Further, the work is an effort to mine gay imagery, and draw the viewer into an intimacy with gay sexuality and identity. By foregrounding gay-coded cartoons, dating app imagery, and pornography, the work responds to the subtle but pervasive rejection or dismissal of gay forms of sexuality and identity within culture.